Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
