you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
