My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize