Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
