You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
