Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
