Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
