She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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