a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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