I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
