I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
