I am puke
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
