I feel like I'm in dance class right now
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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