Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Bang-toberfest begins!!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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