She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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