So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
