There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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