Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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