Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Randomize
