I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.