I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"