Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
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Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.