when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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