I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
