Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
