You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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