You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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