We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
