I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
do herpes really smell.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Text me some of your sweat
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