I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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