You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Randomize
