Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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