The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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