D3 body, D1 cock
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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