Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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