i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize