I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
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Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
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CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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