dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
