Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
