but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
