yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
