Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
MIDGETS
????
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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