Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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