filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
