its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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