We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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