I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
