He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
