i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
