Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
