he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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