I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
