"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
