so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
