hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
