I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
