Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
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My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
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I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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