I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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